roland@equalpartners.ca
http://EqualPartners.ca/
"Women are the backbone of all societies. They do a substantial part of the work, and play a major role in raising the future generation yet they are largely powerless. The decisions that count are made by men and foisted upon women."
Date Posted: February 21st, 2007
There is a daily miracle that occurs myriad of times in our society and nobody pays any attention to it. I am referring to our ability to live together, join forces when necessary, and do the things that make us a civilized society.
But why am I calling this normal process a miracle?
Date Posted: April 19th, 2007
We say that it is our memory that makes us human. We do not mean by that only human are endowed with memory. Animals also have memory. A dog will remember the intricate commands it has been taught during training and will use them when and where required. Squirrels will remember where they buried their food (at least most of the time). Finally, the memory of an elephant is proverbial. But human memory has many features that takes it beyond that of animals. What are some of these features?
Date Posted: April 19th, 2007
How many of us, during high-school and universities, have wondered at our ability to retain so much material, retrieve it, and be able to write our exams and pass?
I first studied pharmacy. In the first year of pharmacy, I had 4 subjects: chemistry, physics, botany, and zoology. Each subject in turn was made out of a few related topics (with different professors and different books). For example, chemistry included physical, organic, and inorganic chemistry. Physics included heat, optics, sound, electricity & magnetism, and particle physics. Same deal for botany and zoology. Then, there was the lab work. I carried an experiment once, and if this experiment came on the exam, I had to remember what I did a few months ago. I could repeat an experiment if I was sick on that day, or for revision purposes, but not all lab work lended itself to repetition.
Date Posted: May 3rd, 2007
Memory connects the events of one period with those of the next period. It allows us to remember our children, spouses, siblings, and friends from day to day. A person after an accident may suffer from amnesia and need to be reintroduced to everybody in her life. It’s sad to witness such a situation; and it reminds us what a precious possession our memory is.
The example I like to give is that of a vacation. If I went to Europe for a month, and visited many countries and places, what is the most precious thing I bring back with me? My memories. Sure, I can take many pictures and keep a detailed diary. But these are only tools. They help my memory. Personally, I feel that a vacation pays dividends mainly as memories that stay with us for many years.
Take a child of 4 to Disneyland and he will go wild. Ask him at 7 what he remembers, and you will realize that he only has vague recollections of the whole thing. Take that same child at 7 and again he will go wild and remember the trip many years later. If you have the funds and energy to take him at 4, 7, and 10, well, that’s even better!
Date Posted: May 10th, 2007
Our genetic makeup will govern our personality; but it is not the only factor, or the main one. To a large extent, it is what we learn during our life, and store in our memory, that will make us who we are.
A small child will gradually store in her memory the words of her mother tongue and use them to intelligently communicate. Memory is not a blunt instrument; even at a young age we can learn from past experience what is desirable and what isn’t. We can then use that faculty to express our desire. An offer from mommy of strawberry and cream is readily accepted by the little one; whereas mashed carrots and chicken is greeted by a “no, I am not hungry.”
Date Posted: May 17th, 2007
Memory plays a vital role in human interactions. This being the case, can we determine its different facets? Put another way, just as we use the same tool to do different tasks, and provide examples of what this tool can do, can we do the same thing for our memory? I can think of four broad aspects.
This simply means remembering the good done to us and being grateful. It does not necessarily means returning the favor.
Two years ago, I was hospitalized. My ex-wife had just moved to a rural area, my son was very busy and travelled a lot, and my daughter lived in another city. Does that mean that I was all alone? Not at all. I had two friends who came everyday to the hospital. They brought food, the newspaper, and other reading material. When I was discharged, they took me to doctors’ appointments. They also brought groceries and cooked food. My brother and my sister-in-law came from Montreal twice to help out. My son, despite being very busy, did his share of work. I had at the time two roommates who provided me, when required, with assistance. Finally, the excellent care provided by the staff at the hospital was second to none, and is appreciated to that day.
It’s unlikely I can return the favor to any of these people. But, no matter. I have in a corner of my memory a shining light. And that’s what makes the positive side of human memory such a beautiful thing.
Date Posted: February 14th, 2008
Place a sign on your desk with the word “Perfection.” Put
the same sign on your night table. This is not to remind you to
expect perfection but rather that it doesn’t exist. The better
you understand that, the happier your life will be.
What follows will deal with some of the imperfections,
oddities, and complexities of human nature.
Date Posted: February 14th, 2008
Many years ago, I was talking with a human resources expert,
Chris. Among other things, we discussed the issue of dealing
with people’s imperfections, the ones that affect their work and
their interactions with other people.
When the manager of a department comes to Chris to discuss
the various problems he has with his employees, Chris advice is
always the same: he tells the manager to deal with one important
problem only and try to change that. It could take years to
correct one imperfection. Once the problem is overcome, does the
manager move on to the next shortcoming? No. It takes so much
time and effort to make one change, it’s not realistic to ask a
person for more. After all, you’re trying to change the basic
nature of that person in one area.
Date Posted: February 21st, 2008
The main reason work is often stressful is that we expect
too much from people. The thing that I remember from my working
years is the difficulties I had with other people, rarely the
work itself.
There are two major problems in the workplace: incompetency
at the higher levels and competition.
Date Posted: February 28th, 2008
Physically, we can see ourselves. All we have to do is
stand in front of a mirror. You may see that you’ve put on some
weight in the wrong places and decide to do something about it.
If only there was a magic mirror which can reflect our
personality. Alas, the scientific world is not even working on
such a project! The only way to do that is to go for therapy.
Needless to say, you will not go to see a psychiatrist unless you
have good reasons to do so. If you do, a big chunk of the time
will be devoted to know yourself, or put another way, to “see”
yourself.
There are many considerations here. First of all, we are
not completely blind to our flaws. For example, you might
realize that you constantly interrupt other people when they are
talking. Therefore, you decide to train yourself to listen
carefully before advancing your own arguments in a conversation.
Date Posted: March 5th, 2008
It took me years to figure that one out. Once I acquired
that knowledge, the actions of other people and my own actions
made sense. What am I talking about?
Let me give you two examples. Both are personal since I
acquired that insight through personal experience. The first
example concerns the reactions of other people, the second my own
reaction.
For years I suffered from depression. That in itself is a
major health issue. But the reaction of other people (colleagues
at work and relatives) proved even more problematic.
Date Posted: March 13th, 2008
Take the Time
We are often urged by well-intentioned people to do things
that are not within our field of competence, or that we are
simply not inclined to do. If you recognize the following
situation, then we have something in common.
Your deck has seen better days. You either need to make
major repairs and paint it, or wreck it and build a new one. You
prefer the second option and call upon a reliable handyman who
has helped you out in the past. Your brother-in-law, Dan, hears
about that and hits the roof. He is handy, and his late father
was a contractor. Dan used to help his dad, on small tasks, as
early as three!
Date Posted: March 20th, 2008
Each one of us is a bundle of contradictions. We prefer to
keep things simple, but it doesn’t work this way. When it comes
to human nature, there are no absolutes. Just because a person
is selfish doesn’t mean he never did selfless acts in his life.
A compassionate individual did, in the course of her lifetime,
show indifference on some occasions. I’ll provide you with two
personal examples.
I was still a child when I learned an important lesson. I
had a good friend by the name of Shemesh. I had invited him to
my home for lunch a few times, and he wanted to reciprocate. But
there was a problem. His father, Selim, was a very impatient
man; he also had quite a temper. Eventually, I could no longer
get out of it, and accepted an invitation for supper.
