Loneliness and Loners – III. The Need to be Left Alone
Date Posted: June 7th, 2007
There is another aspect to this issue: the opportunity to be alone. Most of us are caught in balancing work and family and can seldom find time to be alone. Women appear to be more affected by this problem. While on the one hand they find it easier to interact with other people, they also have a stronger need for privacy and quiet moments when they can be alone with their thoughts and feelings. But there is simply no time for such a luxury, at least not on a daily basis. The result is even more stress, on the individual in particular, and on society as a whole.
How can we find ourselves alone in this hectic world? There are no easy answers. We should first realize that there is an issue. Before we can solve a problem, we first have to identify it! This may seem obvious, and yet, for this and other ills plaguing us, we suffer from the symptoms but are otherwise totally unaware that there is a problem and a possible solution. What we should not do is pack the whole family for a weekend camping trip, or go hiking in some wild and remote place. We have a mistaken belief that going back to nature will solve our internal conflicts.
Think about it for a moment; going on a long trip with two cranky kids, and the need to drive for hours, is not exactly propitious for quiet introspection. Walking for miles in the woods carrying a heavy backpack is not exactly conducive for a quiet dialogue with oneself. More so if you are accompanied by friends, and you should, for going alone in the wild is risky. Don’t get me wrong, going back to nature is wonderfully refreshing and should be done as much as possible. But it does not resolve the problem I am talking about.
You can be alone with your thoughts in a nearby park, on a busy street, or even a place reserved for this purpose in your home. You see what counts is the process itself and not how and where you accomplish it. Find the time on a regular basis and do it. You will be satisfying a basic human need. Finally, do not confuse this process with meditation which is something else.
