Care

Many men are caring.  But it has been my observation that
care as a quality is somewhat different as between the sexes.
It’s as if we’re talking of two different things:  She cares and
He cares attributes.  The care of the woman is deeper and has
compassion written all over it.

To explain the difference, we must go back to the human
child.  The woman will carry her child for 9 months.  She has
bonded with it even before it’s born.  We recognize (with many
exceptions, of course) that the love of a mother is unmatched.
She will care more for her progeny than the father.  There are
many cases where daddy simply vanish, never to be seen again.
This is particularly true in the case of teenage pregnancy.  He
will claim he is too young for such a responsibility.  Never mind
that the future mother is just as young.  Then, of course, there
is the famous:  “How do I know it’s my child?”

But both “types” of care can meet somewhere in between.  Men
should make the necessary effort and perchance learn from women.

Let’s go back to the bible for a moment; the part where
Jesus tell the crowd:  “He who is without sin should cast the
first stone.”  I am not casting any stone here, I can’t afford
to, for I admit that for a long time I was not a particularly
caring person.  However, I was willing to change, and to a great
extent, I did.  An example from the past illustrates that point.

My mother and my wife got along superbly.  It helped that my
mother spoke French and very little English, whereas my wife
spoke English and very little French!  I assume the limited
communication minimized friction.  Whatever the case, they both
genuinely cared for each other.

For many years, my wife urged me to send flowers to my
mother on Mother’s Day.  My response was always the same, “my
mother doesn’t care about these things.”  Every year it was the
same refrain.  Eventually, she wore me out and I gave her the
green light.  A beautiful bouquet of flowers was sent to
Montreal, to my mother.

I was sure that my mother would politely acknowledge my
gesture, and no more.  Was I ever wrong.

When she called, she was in tears, and besides herself with
joy.  She also talked to my wife who told her that it was
“Roland’s idea.”  One of these white lies that will ensure her a
place in heaven!

My mother lived for another seven years and continued to
receive flowers from me on Mother’s Day.  Her enthusiasm never
waned.

The moral of the story:  You can learn care from your female
partner.  It’s a priceless asset, and it’s acquired free of
charge.

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