2. The fictitious wedding previously mentioned has taken
place.  How are the turtledoves doing after seven years?  Not
very well!  There is constant bickering over small things.  They
call them “tiffs.”  These disagreements are an indication that
they are less attracted to each other.  Desire is beginning to
seep away from the marriage.  Will it be replaced by love?

Two people come together and commit to each other for life.
What is that commitment based on?  Beauty and youth.  Of course,
there is more to it than that, or I wouldn’t have been discussing
in great details all the qualities a woman looks for in a man.
Nevertheless, the animal inside us has to be satisfied, only
after that can our human side have its say.

What happens when desire is gone because time has washed
away all loveliness?  Look at the divorce statistics for your
answer.  Of course, there are many reasons why people split; but
always, always, at the basis is the fact that the attraction is
no longer there.

After a while, there is a certain degree of fatigue in a
relationship.  It’s always the same partner, and humans are not
by nature monogamous.  If there is more than desire between them,
they will endure, if not they’ll separate.  Sometimes they stay
together, but there is continuous resentment over the inevitable
toll time is taking on their bodies.

A while ago, I was watching a television documentary over
sexual attraction.  One of the participants had this to say:
“For a man I love, I would wake up at 5:00 AM to cook a meal for
him.”  What she meant, is a man she strongly desires.  If you’re
ill, and your sister wakes up at 5:00 AM to prepare a meal for
you, this is love.  The love this lady was referring to was lust.

Mature people are not that different.  The ladies I met were
still looking for the tall, handsome, and well-built guy.
Unfortunately, there weren’t too many of those in our age
bracket.  Those same ladies informed me numerous times that men
were totally unrealistic.  They still want the clear skin, the
bright eyes, and the curvaceous body.  They, of course, were
totally oblivious of the fact that they were doing the exact same
thing!

Young, old, and in between, they are all seeking the comely
sexual partner and calling it love.

3. You’ve heard of unrequited love.  He loves her, but she
doesn’t.  He can’t get her out of his mind.  No amount of
pleading or even begging can get the lady to relent.  Some men
(far more rarely women) have committed suicide over that, or at
least, came close to it.  If love brings death, can we still call
it love?  Such a man has a strong sexual desire for a given
woman.  No other woman will do.  To call that love will require
us to redefine the word.  It’s an obsession pure and simple.

Don’t misunderstand me.  I am not saying that there is
anything wrong with the desire that exists between man and woman.
It’s a part of being human.  Sex brings the couple close and
(hopefully) keep them together.  My problem is that love should
include both desire and affection, but it isn’t.  It’s strictly
based on outward appearances.

But do not despair.  True love is rare in our materialistic
Western world, but it does exist.  So let’s go and look for it.

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