Jokes – II. Miscellaneous Jokes (1 of 2)
Date Posted: April 3rd, 2008
In the old Soviet Union, a woman went to buy a refrigerator.
After the transaction was completed, she asked for the delivery
date and was given a date ten years down the road. “Will that be
in the morning or the afternoon?” she inquired.
“What difference does it make?” asked the bemused salesman.
“Well, I am expecting the plumber in the afternoon,” replied
the woman.
* * *
A magician routinely tried his magic tricks on his family.
One day, he attempted a complex trick. His wife was transformed
into a sofa, and his two children into two chairs. When he tried
to bring them back, he failed. In a great panic, he called 911.
Considering the circumstances, a moving van was sent to take his
family to the emergency. When he in turn arrived at the
hospital, he was told that his wife and children were undergoing
emergency surgery. The man waited for hours until a surgeon
finally emerged from the operating room. “How are they doing
doctor?” he asked anxiously.
“Resting,” came the reply.
* * *
The invisible man went to his doctor. He had no
appointment. He approached the receptionist and asked to be
squeezed in. She checked with the doctor, came back, and told
the man: “The doctor can’t see you.”
* * *
A woman walks into a pharmacy and asks to buy arsenic.
“What for?” asks the pharmacist.
“To kill my husband,” she replies.
“Are you crazy? This is murder. You can go to jail for the
rest of your life,” he exclaimed.
“No, for I have mitigating circumstances,” she replied. She
then opened her handbag, fished out a picture and handed it to
the pharmacist. “This is my husband and next to him is his
mistress.”
“Good Lord,” shouted the pharmacist. “The woman in the
picture is my wife. Why didn’t you tell me from the beginning
that you have a prescription?”
* * *
A Jewish woman was elected as the President of the United
States. On the day of the inauguration, there was a big crowd,
and in the first row were notable personalities and the mother of
the woman in question. Next to the mother was seated one of the
supreme court justices. When the time came to take the oath, the
mother nudged the judge and pointed to her daughter: “you see
the woman taking the oath?”
“Yes, what about her?”
“Well, her brother is a doctor.”
