Jokes – XVI. Various Jokes (2 of 2)
Date Posted: March 3rd, 2011
A dedicated shop steward was at a convention in New York and decided to check out the local brothels.
At the first one he asked the madame the price. “$100,” she informed him.
“How much does the girl keeps,” he inquired.
“$20; the remaining $80 is overhead and my profit.”
Indignant at such unfairness, this union man went looking for another brothel. The next two places were also not unionized and the split was still 20:80 in favor of the madame.
At the following place he got lucky. “Yes, this a unionized brothel,” the madame informed him. “The girl keeps $80 and I get $20.”
“Wonderful,” he exclaimed. He then looked at the girls, and pointed at a voluptuous brunette, “I would like this one, please.”
“I am sure you would, sir, but,” pointing at a fat fifty-something lady, “Harriet here has seniority.”
* * *
Sean, a married Irishman went to confession.
“Father,” he began, “I have sinned.”
“Tell me my son.”
“I was with a woman, we undressed, but did not have sex, we just rubbed together.”
“Rubbing is the same like putting it in. For your penance, you’ll say five Hail Mary’s and put $50 in the poor box.”
Sean said his prayers, took a $50 bill and went to the poor box, he stood there but never placed the money.
As he was preparing to leave, the priest shouted, “I saw that, you never put the money.”
“Father, I rubbed the bill against the box; you said that rubbing is the same like putting it in.”
* * *
Two old ladies went to see a movie.
“What do you do for seniors like us?” the first one asked the cashier.
“We give you a senior’s discount,” replied the cashier.
“What else?” she insisted.
“We wake you up at the end of the movie,” added the cashier.
