Picture a long line of men clutching documents.  They have listed all the complaints they have against the “fair” sex; and they are here to present their grievances!  If you’ve followed me through this fictional scenario, you will surely notice that I am the first in line!

[Conceivably, such a line could be made of women; but being of the male persuasion and since this is my story, allow me this one-sided scenario with the proviso that a woman (or women) can use the same scenario to bring forth her tribulations against the male of the species.]

First let me reassure you by telling you that this was not a war!  This was a skirmish only!  It took place in Israel and peace was restored in North America.

At the age of 24, I started looking for a soul mate I could share my life with.  A number of difficulties made this quest problematic.

Israel at the time had a serious gender imbalance; there were more men than women.  Therefore I found myself at a disadvantage.  But that wasn`t my only issue.

The problem mainly lied with me.  I was average looking.  I was shy.  My conversation was totally insipid.  In short a date with me was like a tour of Dullsville!  Ironically, when I dated many years later, I was a very interesting date, having in the meantime benefited from a lifetime of experience and knowledge.  If only the future could be telescoped into the present.

That being the case, I used (what was then) unconventional methods.  Early in the 20^th century, it was not uncommon for people to place a personal ad in the newspaper.  For some reason that custom was by then largely frowned upon.  Indeed, only one newspaper accepted such ads.  At the end of the 20^th century that practice came back.  Of course, in the 21^st century, online dating is all the rage.

I wasn`t deterred by the fact that I was straying away from the accepted convention.  I rented a mailbox in the post office, and placed an ad in the newspaper.  Many times.

There was an exciting aspect to that whole venture.  After placing an ad, I would periodically go to my mailbox and collect the responses.  I then sat in a nearby garden and carefully read the letters.

After deciding who I wanted to meet, I wrote back.  If she was interested, we would arrange a time and a place to meet.  Everything was done by mail, for few people had telephones.  Yes, it took time, but what was the rush?  It was not uncommon for me to meet that young lady two months after I got her first letter!

For a generation that`s accustomed to instant this and instant that, that would be a totally maddening system.  But trust me, it provided more excitement than the present instant messaging way of communicating.

My attempts to pass on my genes involved numerous blind dates!  Indeed, most of my dates fell into that category!

Fine, a date has been set up; there are now two options:  She will show up or she won`t.  Let us assume that she comes; again, two options:  she likes me or she doesn`t.  If she does, and the feeling is mutual we arrange a second date.  If I don`t like her, I am always polite and spends some time with her; conceivably, I would treat her to a coffee or a gazoz (soft drink).  I always acted this way even though some of those girls I wouldn`t hire as a maid!  Indeed, one of them was a cleaning lady and her letter was written by a friend!

If an ad yielded no results, I waited a while and place another ad.  And the process started all over again.

I am sure you have concluded that by following that system, it would have taken me decades to find the right girl!

I eventually had to face up to that fact and find a more practical way.

I consulted with Moshé and he suggested a different approach.

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