Call me naive if you wish, but for many years I thought this
was a term invented by romance novelists.  In time, I would learn
that this was a bona fide ideal cherished by women between 18 and
80.  I should have known that art imitates life and not the other
way around.

That being the case, let us take this expression apart.
Tall?  I think that by now we can all agree that this physical
feature is a must.  Dark?  This is more problematic since dark
men are in short supply.  Women therefore need to compromise, and
they do.  Handsome?  This is the subject of our discussion in
this section.  So let us therefore look at the ins and outs of
this important criterion.

The myth that refuses to die

For a long time in their history, women were given a limited
choice when the time came to select their mates.  Men also faced
similar constraints.  All that is now in the past; for most of
the 20th century, in the Western world, women and men could, and
did, select their partners.  Judging by the divorce rate, this
proved to be a step backward!  However, this is a discussion for
another day!

If we can select our consorts, looks will be our first
priority; it will overwhelm all other considerations.
Intelligent though we may be, we remain a slave to our animal
nature.  And here is where we encounter a strange myth that
refuses to die:  Men value physical attractiveness in a mate more
so than women do.  I am swimming against the current here.
According to my observations, it’s the other way around.  A woman
will carefully look at what a man will bring to the table in the
way of physical attributes.  Looks will play a big role.  Before
I present my arguments, let me make two points.

Women do not stop at looks; while it is very important, they
have many other demands.  I will discuss them in subsequent
sections.  I will also explain why women need to be so demanding.

Scientists in general agree that men value beauty and youth
in a mate more so than women do; women are more concerned with
the potential, status, and wealth of a potential partner.  No
less an authority than psychologist David Buss of the University
of Michigan concurs with the above statement.  Dr. Buss conducted
(in the early ’90s) the survey that lay the foundation for
Evolutionary Psychology as we know it today.  How can I disagree
with such an authority?  Hear my arguments and decide for
yourself.

1. Turn back the clock to 1964.  A very talented British
band, The Beatles, first came to North America.  Even before they
had a chance to set foot on any stage, something astounding
happened.  They were greeted at the airport by hundred of female
fans who were screaming hysterically and crying.  Their boyish
good looks cannot begin to explain the need for barricades and
police to maintain order.  When was the last time you saw males
screaming and crying over attractive female performers?!

2. Some sexy male artists have had panties thrown at them on
the stage!  An amazing change from the days when flowers were
offered at the end of the performance!  When was the last time
you saw males throwing their underwear at the attractive female
performers?!

3.  We’ve all observed this phenomenon, but perhaps never
took the time to draw any conclusion from it.

You have this magnificent male specimen.  The women are
buzzing around him like bees around the same attractive flower.
What is wrong with this picture?  Well, they can’t all hope to
get him; the laws of physics and biology preclude that!  And yet
they persist, totally oblivious to the fact that they are
pursuing an impossible goal.

You have this magnificent female specimen.  Apparently she
can’t get a date.  It’s obvious to the guys around her that
they’ll be trying for the impossible.  While the “fact” that very
attractive women are not even asked out is probably greatly
exaggerated, it remains that men will recognize that a hill is
too steep to climb, and will turn to easier challenges.

Does that mean that men are more realistic than women?  No,
but what it brings to the fore is the importance of looks to
women; they will fight over the pie even though it’s obvious that
it cannot be divided among so many people.  And there is a very
good biological reason for that behavior.  I will discuss it
later on.

4. You may have a friend, who, for as long as you knew him,
wanted a tall and curvaceous partner.  He meets a cute,
vivacious, and petite young lady and forgets all about his
previous resolutions.  She becomes the love of his life.  This
rarely happens with women; they have specific physical
requirements in mind, and, come hell or high water, they must be
met.

5. If you have some experience with one-night stands (I do
not have any and don’t expect to get it in this life!), surely
you would have noticed that women pick an attractive guy, while
the male is willing to settle for second best.

According to a survey by Dr. Buss and his colleague David
Schmitt, women looking for short-term partners prefer attractive
men.  On the other hand, an Arizona State University found that
while men also value attractiveness for a quick fling, they are
usually willing to settle for less attractive mates.

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