Why are the genders so different at the mind level?

This question goes beyond the obvious reason that men and
women have different responsibilities vis-a-vis their children.
And that they need to project a different image to the little
ones.

I wrestled with this question for years; today I finally
have an answer.  It will not satisfy everybody.  If you don’t
agree, use it as a starting point and keep looking.

The sexes are different to create tension, and tension in
turn generates action and provides benefits.  I’ll give you a
general example, I’ll then be more specific.

You’re a key employee in a small business.  You’re well-paid
and get substantial bonuses when business is good.  The owner
values your work, but she is continually after you to keep the
customers satisfied.

There is tension between the boss and you; this tension in
turn results in action, you go out of your way to meet the
demands of the clientele.  The outcome is beneficial all-around:
A good reputation and a thriving business for the owner, a good
income and a higher standard of living for your family and you.

Two more specific examples.

You’re given free will, but there are myriad of constraints.
At times, you have to make difficult choices.  To make matters
worse, all kind of impediments get in the way.  There is a lot of
tension.  It forces you to get creative.  You have to make more
choices on top of the original choice.  At the end, however, you
will add to your arsenal more life experiences.  And these
experiences will in time be incorporated in your personality.
This is what maturing as a person (or community or even nation)
is all about.

This is what brought us down from the trees, forced us to
cooperate, made us discover fire, tools, weapons, agriculture,
and so on.  It is this kind of tension that made us civilized.

Let me go back to my childhood.  Mom and dad differed in a
basic way.  I didn’t know back then that men and women thought
differently; but I quickly figured that there was some tension
that I could exploit; and when there was a problem, I did!  Same
story with my brother.  Same thing with all of you.  You’ll
exploit (as a child) the tension between the sexes and derive a
benefit, namely a more balanced upbringing.  That’s why the
presence of both a father and a mother is so important to a
child.

But, wait.  There is a problem here.  We now have in our
society children with two moms or two dads.  That goes counter to
what I just said.  However, there is a positive aspect to such a
situation.  There is a tension between a society that largely
disapprove of such arrangements and these unusual families.  This
tension generates action; for example, we may want to introduce
on occasion a member(s) of the opposite sex in the life of the
child.  There is a benefit too.  We can compare and contrast
unconventional and traditional families.  How do they differ?
How are the children impacted?  Such studies can only be carried
out because we, as a society, have become more liberal.  As you
can see, here again tension generates action and potential
benefits.

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