Jokes – III. Miscellaneous Jokes (2 of 2)
Date Posted: April 10th, 2008
Moses was taking an early morning walk in the woods. Coming
from the opposite direction was Bush doing the same thing. When
they meet Bush tell Moses: “Great morning, Moses. We’ve really
been lucky with the weather so far.” Moses goes by without
saying a word. A few days later they meet once more. Bush tries
again to engage Moses in small talk. “We’re due for an early
spring, no doubt about that.” Moses totally ignores him and
carries on with his walk. The third time this happen, Bush stops
Moses and asks him: “Why are you snubbing me Moses? Did I ever
do anything to you?”
“I didn’t mean to offend you, Mr. President. It’s just that
the last time I talked to a bush, I got stuck in the desert for
40 years!”
* * *
A man finds the proverbial bottle and liberates the genie.
In return, the genie grants him three wishes. But there is one
condition attached to that. “Anything you wish for, all the
politicians in the world will get twice as much,” explains the
genie.
The man is fine with that. “My first wish is to have a
Jaguar,” he says. There is now a Jaguar in his garage, and every
politician on the planet now owns two Jaguars.
“I would like a million dollars,” added the man. He now has
a bank account with a million dollars, and every politician in
the world gets two million dollars.
The man was now hesitating. “What is your third wish?”
asks the genie.
To this the man replies: “Well, I have always wanted to
donate one of my kidneys …”
* * *
Why did the raisin go out with a prune?
He couldn’t find a date.
* * *
A man finds a bottle on the beach and opens it. Out comes a
genie with an attitude.
“My three wishes,” started the man “are, first …”
“I only grant one wish,” interrupted the genie . “So make
it count.”
The man takes a map from his pocket and points out at a
small town and a body of water. “I would like to have a bridge
built over the river to connect my town to the main city.”
“Too complicated,” said the genie. “Pick something else.”
“Have the Toronto Maple Leafs win the Stanley Cup next
year,” countered the man.
“Quit asking for the impossible,” said the genie in an angry
voice.
“Sometimes during the next ten years?” said the man in a
small voice.
“Let me have a look at this map again,” said the genie in a
tired voice.
