Jokes – IX. Accountants Jokes (3 of 3)
Date Posted: November 19th, 2009
Employee: The auditors have just left, sir.
Owner: Did they check the books?
Employee: They practically took them apart.
Owner: What did they say?
Employee: They want 10% to keep quiet.
* * *
Who was the first accountant?
Adam. He got interested in figures, turned the first leaf,
made the first entry, buggered up the monthly accounts, and
raised the first liability.
* * *
The doctor enters his heart transplant patient room with a
big smile on his face.
“It’s almost unheard off. But we have two donors for you.
You’re given a chance to choose.”
The patient is beaming. He asks, “What were their
professions?”
“One was an engineer and the other was an accountant.”
“I’ll take the accountant’s heart,” says the patient. “I
want one that hasn’t been used.”
* * *
An accountant is suffering from insomnia and goes to see his
doctor.
“Doctor, I just can’t fall asleep at night”
“Have you tried counting sheep?”
“That’s the problem. I make a mistake and then spend hours
trying to find it.”
* * *
An accountant dies and goes to heaven. After welcoming him,
St. Peter asks him: “What took you so long?”
“What do you mean Sir, I died young, I was only 47.”
St. Peter looks puzzled. He looks through his records and
says, “according to your billing records we have estimated that
you were at least 94 when you died.”
