Equal Partners
by Roland Ezri

Equal Partners by Roland Ezri

Equal Partners

By Roland Ezri

"Women are the backbone of all societies. They do a substantial part of the work, and play a major role in raising the future generation yet they are largely powerless. The decisions that count are made by men and foisted upon women."

Writings by Roland Ezri

Jokes – XIV. Some Jewish Stories (2 of 2)

The Jacobson – an orthodox Jewish family – were very concerned.  Their son Reuben, 32, was still unmarried.  He was very fussy, no young lady was to his liking.  But marriage was a central mitzvah (good action). And what about the Bible’s injunction of periya ve rebiya (go forth and multiply).

They talked to one of their friend, a very knowledgeable lady.  “I know a top notch shadkhena (matchmaker), “said this lady.  “I will send her to you.  You’ll see, you’ll be dancing at your son’s wedding before the year is over.”

And so the marriage broker had her first interview with the Jacobson family and Reuben.  She left with a long list of criteria that had to be met.  She promised to be back in two weeks with the sought-for female.  And she was as good as her word.

“Wait till you hear what I have for you,” she told them when she next visited them.  “This young lady is one of a kind.  Her parents are ultra-orthodox.   She was taught to cook and keep a kosher home from a young age.  She is very well educated; she has a Master from a Yeshiva University; and you know the caliber of their education; on the same footing as Harvard and Oxford!  She will be an extraordinary mother; you should see her with her nieces and nephews.  And, oh, yes, she wants many children.  I left the best for last; she is gorgeous, such a beautiful face, and a figure, oy, to die for.”

The family was elated, “a real find,” they declared.  But Reuben was still on the fence; indeed his next question took everybody by surprise.

“Tell me giveret (ma’am), is she good in bed?”

A pregnant silence followed.

When the shadkhena found her voice, she said, “well … the jury … is still out … on that one …  some say yes …  some say no!”

*  *  *

Avigdor has been a mohel  (an individual who performs circumcisions) for some 40 years.  While he was still a vigorous man with steady hands (a must in this profession!), there came a day when he felt he had “trimmed” one pipik (penis) too many!  And so he decided to retire.  For a few months, he trained his assistant, and when he felt he was ready, Avigdor officially retired.

Over the years he had accumulated a large number of foreskins.  What to do with that?

He approached a leather manufacturer who told him that, yes, he could make a memento out of these “leftovers.”

Two weeks later, when he went back to the manufacturer, he was handed a beautiful wallet.

But, Avigdor was greatly disappointed. “For 40 years, I have been performing circumcisions, and all I get out of that is a lousy wallet!”

“Don’t be fooled,” he was told.  “This is an amazing wallet.  If you rub it, it grows into a suitcase!”

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