roland@equalpartners.ca
http://EqualPartners.ca/

Equal Partners
by Roland Ezri

Equal Partners by Roland Ezri

Equal Partners

By Roland Ezri

"Women are the backbone of all societies. They do a substantial part of the work, and play a major role in raising the future generation yet they are largely powerless. The decisions that count are made by men and foisted upon women."

Writings by Roland Ezri

Living Together

There is a daily miracle that occurs myriad of times in our society and nobody pays any attention to it. I am referring to our ability to live together, join forces when necessary, and do the things that make us a civilized society.

But why am I calling this normal process a miracle?

First of all, we are all very different from each other. Not so long ago, I was watching a television program on identical twins. The point was repeatedly made that identical twins are different from each other. Twins or not, the fact is, we rarely agree with each other; even when we do, there is never complete agreement. Try this experiment when you’re with a group of friends. Bring up a contentious topic for discussion, then listen to the different views. You’ll be amazed at the different opinions you’ll hear. I think it is safe to say that there are no two people on the face of the earth who think exactly alike.

Second, we need to remember that in order to exercise the free choice granted to us by the Creator, and ultimately be accountable to Him, we need to have our own personality, a personality unlike any other. It follows from this that we all walk alone in life. There is only so much we can share with another human being. A few years ago, my wife lost her father. My first instinct was to do my best to console her, and of course I did just that. I also wanted to share in her grief; it is then that I realized that you can never really share anybody’s grief. My wife walked alone down that road. I could not walk by her side. As a unique personality, she came equipped with the power to choose. And that power meant that she alone could make the choices which would ultimately allow her to come to terms with her loss.

Finally, we need to remember that humans are intelligent animals. Intelligent animals are calculating animals. They deceive, lie, cheat, are greedy, and by and large try to better themselves at the expense of other humans. It is not always a pretty picture, but it is part of our human make-up.

If we are so different from each other, and if each one of us pursues his/her own interest, then how do we manage to live together? There is obviously no simple answers. There are many considerations here. Let’s look at three of them:

  1. The need to unite

    The members of a family need to work together in order to meet their needs. Even something as simple as preparing supper requires, if both mom and dad work, that everybody pitches in. If they don’t, well, supper will be delayed. If one or more members continually shirks his/her responsibilities, this will create dissension in the family.

    This is also true for nations. Israel is comprised of people who came from the four corners of the world. No party had ever had a majority in parliament. There has never been the necessary agreement to adopt a constitution, a flag, and a national anthem (the existing flag and national anthem are unofficial). Yet, if there is the least danger, the people unite and work together like a well-oiled machine. They have to, for the survival of the nation is often at stake.

  2. Distribution of skills

    Skills are distributed throughout our society. You need, at one time or another, so many other people. It could be an electrician because there is a problem with the electric circuit. It could be your banker because you need to increase your line of credit. Then again, you may need urgent surgery. In this case, the whole machinery of an amazing institution, a hospital, will work together to get you better.

  3. Social species

    Humans are born with an intrinsic need to interact with other people. A 4-year-old instinctively look for children of her own age to play with. Mom, dad, and the older sister are no longer enough. She needs to widen her circle.

We also need to share our thoughts and feelings with our family and friends. This is not a concrete need like asking mom for an advance on your next allowance, or a paying chore, for you urgently need the money. It’s more subtle than that. Let me give you an example.

Kira is 17. She has a 15-year-old brother, Simon. She also has a 16-year-old friend, Nadia. Simon sees Nadia and goes nuts! He asks her for a date, but she gently turns him down; he is too young for her. Simon goes to his sister and asks her to plead his case. She succeeds in getting Nadia to go out with Simon. After their first date, Simon is bursting at the seams. He can’t wait to tell his sister that Nadia is the most amazing girl he has ever met. Now compare and contrast the two needs. First Kira sweet-talked her friend into going out with her brother. A service was rendered. Next, Simon needed to share his feelings with a person that knew Nadia. No service was rendered. Both, nevertheless, are human needs. And Kira has met both needs.

The last question left is how can we improve our interactions with other people? This will differ according to the circumstances of each one of us. Therefore, each individual armed with the insights provided in this writing, should answer this question. I can, however, provide some examples:

  1. In your family and at work, do your own share. Don’t sit back and expect other people to do your work.
  2. Select the appropriate person for the job. Don’t ask a colleague at work who has no organizational ability, and no interest in sports, to organize a softball team!
  3. Respect the wishes of other people. What you love, another person abhors. Therefore, stop insisting that your girlfriend joins you for a weekend in Las Vegas. She hates gambling.
  4. Praise, praise, and praise some more. Forget about the fact that people get paid for their work. Individuals providing their services are helping you out. Show your appreciation at all times.

These are some examples. There are obviously many more. Ultimately, good human relations makes for a happy and balanced society.

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