Jokes – VI. Here And There (2 of 2)
Date Posted: October 29th, 2009
On a bright Saturday morning, Bea the bee went out to her
favorite garden to gather nectar. As luck would have it, the
garden was used for an outdoor wedding. Bea therefore made a bee
line to the sweet table and gorged herself.
As she was leaving, she overheard the caterer saying that
next week there would be an outdoor Bar-Mitzvah in the same
garden.
On the way back, Bea met her best friend, Bess the bee. She
told her what happened, and they both decided to attend the Bar-
Mitzvah.
On the appointed day, Bea to her surprise noted that Bess
had a yarmulke (skullcap worn during Jewish religious ceremonies)
on her head.
“Why on earth do you have a yarmulke on your head?” Bea
inquired.
“You told me it’s a Bar-Mitzvah,” replied Bess.
“So what, you’re not even Jewish,” countered Bea.
“Well, I didn’t want them to think that I am a WASP,”
replied Bess.
* * *
Two nuns walk into a fruit and vegetable store. They pick up
two bananas and go to pay for them.
“I only have two more bananas left; since it’s closing time
I’ll give you the whole thing at half price,” said the owner.
One nun looks at the other and say, “you know, we can always
eat them.”
* * *
Two friends are discussing the stock market.
Louie: I had a terrible year; by the end of 2008 my net
worth had decreased by 12%.
Larry: I am sorry to hear that; I, on the other hand, had a
great year. I invested heavily in white pepper futures and
managed to increase my net worth by 15%.
Louie: Whoa! That’s nothing to sneeze at!
* * *
A little boy was walking with his father when they came
across a donkey with a huge erection.
“Look, look, daddy,” the boy exclaimed, “something is wrong
with this donkey.”
“There is nothing wrong with the donkey, son, he is just
sick. He will get better,” replied the father.
A few months later the boy was walking with his mother
when they came across a donkey “afflicted” with the same ailment.
“Look, look, mom,” said the boy pointing at the donkey’s
erection, “this donkey is sick, but he will get better.”
“Who told you such nonsense?” asked the mother.
“Dad,” replied the boy.
“Your dad knows nothing.” She then added wistfully, “I wish
your father was as healthy as this donkey!”
* * *
A little boy saw his pregnant mother undressing.
“What’s this you have in your stomach, mom,” asked the boy.
“It’s a baby,” she replied.
“Who gave you the baby?” he asked.
“Dad,” she answered.
Next the boy went to his dad.
“Did you really give a baby to mommy?” he enquired.
“Yes, son,” he replied.
“Well, I have bad news, she ate it up,” he declared.
* * *
A girl was walking with her boyfriend when a bird left an
unwanted deposit on her beautiful white dress.
Horrified, she asks her boyfriend if he has any toilet
paper.
“What for,” he replied, “that bird is already far away.”
