Equal Partners
by Roland Ezri

Equal Partners by Roland Ezri

Equal Partners

By Roland Ezri

"Women are the backbone of all societies. They do a substantial part of the work, and play a major role in raising the future generation yet they are largely powerless. The decisions that count are made by men and foisted upon women."

Writings by Roland Ezri

Loneliness and Loners – An Update

I have had the pleasure of  sharing with you hundreds of articles and some 15 series (including one that run over a year and half and apprised readers as to their destinies when their short human journey comes to an end).  I get thousand of readers every month, and countless comments (while most of them are spam, some of them are relevant and are therefore published).

So where is the problem?

Of everything I have written, nothing has come close to my series “Loneliness and Loners.”  For three years running , according to my statistics, this series was, and continue to be, very popular; especially the last post:  “What Can We Do Help Loners?”  On this one alone I received 10 comments, and lost count as to the number of visitors that read it.

You will excuse my surprise; here I am addressing a variety of sociological and philosophical issues; sprinkling my site with jokes and various humorous articles; and taking the reader through the forthcoming voyage of eternity; and the subjects of loneliness and loners still prevail!  But perhaps I shouldn’t be surprised.

Animals such as deers, zebras, monkeys, and horses survive in the wild by forming herds.  Inside the herd, the chances of anyone individual to survive are greatly enhanced; outside the herd a single animal is, sooner or later, doomed.

The above is true for humans as well.  In primitive times, a person left behind by his peers was as good as dead.  This is no longer true in our civilized world; but the dreadful feeling of being by yourself or being rejected by the rest of society still evokes sentiments of (what we call) loneliness or of being considered a loner.

Is this true for all of us?  No, for nothing in human affairs is ever that simple.  Some of us love to be by ourselves, and if we are called loners or antisocial, so be it.  Count me in, here:  while I occasionally like some company, I love being by myself.  My conclusion?  I am comfortable in my own skin; my guess is that applies to many of you.

But why the vast difference?

If we were all the same, our society will stop functioning.  Imagine if we were all gregarious, who would do the lonely jobs?  Who would do the shift work if there were no night owls among us?  If we all liked one thing, say, accounting, who you gonna call if you’re ill, need an engineering study done, or your toilet is hopelessly plugged?  My point?   Loners are very important to society, if you’re one of us, you’re part of an important group: we write the music , the books, and dream of something called a P.C. and eventually develop it in our basement.  (I am using one of these guys to do my present work!).

I am reminded that this is an update, therefore, I will now clarify some points that were misunderstood (judging by your comments, as well as the fact that I didn’t, at times, explained myself clearly and completely).

I’ll do so by referring to the applicable posts.

V. Loners:  Who Are They?

The loner I am referring to “…is remote, and may have something somber about him.”  “The real loner has probably been scarred during his early life.”  He is kept by his peers on the edge of society, out of the circle.  “Thus, he grows up as an angry youth.”  “A loner can be a walking time bomb, or may simply drag himself through life until death puts him out of his misery.”

Surely you (if you’re a loner) and I do not fit within these disturbing criteria.  We are somewhat different because nature needs to create variety for a species to survive; otherwise we are as normal as they come.

Where I was really crucified is when I said that “I have never  met or heard of a she-loner.”  I said that because – if they exist – they are extremely rare. (Again keeping in mind the above criteria).

The SanYsidro McDonald’s massacre in California on July 18, 1984 was carried out by James Oliver Huberty.  The shootings resulted in 22 deaths (including the perpetrator) and the injuries of 19 others.

And who can forget Columbine, and Virginia Tech.  And what Canadian will ever forget Ecole Polytechnique and Dawson college. (If you’re outside North America, you may want to research these cases on the internet).

There many other examples, and in every case, it is always, always, a male.

VI. Loners:  A Tragic Example

The example I gave illustrates so well the kind of loner I had in mind.  By sheer luck Patrick killed only three people (including himself).  However, “For the surviving students, questions remain, and nightmares to last a lifetime.”

VII. Loners:  What Can We Do to Help Loners?

The loners that fall within the above criteria are the ones that require help.  Loners, by choice, need no assistance; not surprisingly, therefore, many of you resented the question.

As well, what I am suggesting in this part is futuristic.  Social advances have not yet reached a point where we can tackle such a complex problem.

Overall, I was unclear on a number of points, and can appreciate why I was not understood.  The series was written in 2007; I never thought it would resonate to such an extent with my readers.  More than three years later, I am wiser, and hopefully have managed to fill some of the gaps.

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